Posts Tagged ‘mind’

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All my fears washed away instantaneously, excitement filling its place. Like a small kid who found a new toy to play I started moving swiftly to the all sides of the cube to see all my memories. I was thrilled seeing it all. All of my life, my pride, my success, my regrets on everything. I was crying and smiling simultaneously, crashing on the floor exhausted by the overwhelming emotions brimming out of my eyes. The ceiling above me is now shining like a bright sky filled with stars.

“But where is the moon, why can’t I see Her?” I asked myself and started searching for my most desirable memories fanatically all around me. Her memories are no where to be found. I closed my eyes to find her, nothing but darkness.

“You are wasting your energy finding her here.” a little guy again materialized in my head,
“and stop calling me little guy, I am bigger than your grasp and imagination. Who do you think is pulling this show here”.

“OK, I apologize”, I plead to him in effort to make peace. “But please tell me why can’t I embrace her memories when this is only thing I yearn for.”

“Because you locked her up in a box and hid it in the deepest and darkest part of your mind. She is not free; you are suffocating her by holding too tight. You need to free her, so that she can come to you.”

He was right; it’s been 2 years already since I had any kind of interaction with her but never felt that she is away. I contemplated that I am incapable of embracing her memories and it can only bring ache.

“This is a self-inflicted pain that you are experiencing. You are the reason of all your miseries. Let her memories fly like she always wanted, it will bring serenity and peace to you. You must smile to feel the warmth and tenderness of her smile.”

My vision started getting blurred by the tears now filling my eyes. Voices and images started floating in the glass room filling it rapidly. I understood now, I was not imprisoned in that room, it was just that I pushed everything else to make place for her but never had guts to filled it, therefore living in a void space all this time. Glass boundaries started fading and the intensity of the yellowish tinge started increasing creating bright white light. I smiled and close my eyes as I dived into it.

“Hey, Bro. Wake up, it’s too late now. What happened to you?”, my room partner was shaking me violently.

I woke up and in the end found my self shirtless in the balcony of my flat. I asked him, “What exactly happened?”

“I don’t know, You were drinking lots of wine puffing lots of weed shouting that you will end world hunger and save the world from global warming and instantly went into the trance state. I thought you are asleep only to find you here in the morning. You were smiling and blabbering gibberish. Why you do such things?”

“Sometimes the only way to find yourself is to get completely lost.” I peacefully smiled at him and started picking bottles to find the leftovers.

The End

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